there are really many things i want to write about but over the years (i have started blogging 5 years back in a place i wouldn't want you to know) i started feeling a wee bit uncomfortable laying my life out here so blatantly. i guess at one moment, what my sister said rang true. you shouldn't really display your life to public or you risk the consequences.
throughout all these years, i wrote angsty posts, complained a heap, i displayed affections towards my family and PK publicly, i wrote all sorts of things i laugh at now.
i wonder how would i react to this when i grow older.
anyway, i have this stir up inside, unsure of the feeling i have now.
each time i see a comment or an update about a friend who is now back in Malaysia, i feel bad that i chosed to go back much later. i feel bad when i broke the news to 'them' that i will be home much later.
then each time PK comes home from work, i smile because i am still around. and everytime this notion of me going home soon crops up, i ignore it, to a certain extent i fear it. i am so used to the companionship i wonder how it would be when i go home soon.
anyway, i believe for one, that things will always sort themselves up in the end. fretting is just a process but it will be settled. 船到桥头以自然直。
wth, the switzerland post. so daunting. wth. will try to get it done before i go home.
the much anticipated graduation is now over. i was on the stage for barely 10 seconds. all the effort throughout these 3 and a half years. i would not say it wasn't worth it. it was worth every second i was up there. but to be honest, graduation to me, was more to another chance of camwhoring. LOL. and camwhored we did. i really love the flower PK got me for myy convocation. it was different. it was bold and it was sharp. and to PK, thank you for being the photographer and bag bearer for the day. but i am more thankful for your presence than anything else.
13 of the jpa students went back yesterday and i believe they are already at home now, resting. i must say i am filled with envy now because i long to go home. but then again, i do not want to leave PK just yet. the day i go home will be the day long distance greets our relationship again. it is definitely tough. especially for him because he would be alone in germany and at least i would be home. and this hurts. but i am ging too avoid talking about this now because it is sensitive between us.
i must thank the D8 juniors who allowed PK and I to stay in their unit for two days on my trip back to glasgow. it was such a pleasant place, besides them being so accomodating. thanks Renly, WenYi, PohYee, and ChinYeong!
gtg for now. switzerland post and pictures of convo in facebook soon :)
great. the workers left early so i can take long afternoon nap uninhibited. yes!
but before they leave, i did attempt to sleep. then suddenly mulut dan tangan gatal so i went to make this microwave cake i saw from weepin's blog. i went to search online to see if there is any simpler recipe. so here we go, but first, some random photos:
gooseberries. i think they are great, taste a bit like soursop on the sour side (mainly because the skin is freaking sour) but PK thinks they taste like the food you feed the pig, wth! i remember how jerome's face mushed up after tasting them too. haha. i bought this in the train station while waiting for zeuven's train home. zeuven came to karlsruhe last sunday and we had an amazing time catching up.
ok. continue with the recipe. first, search random recipe online.
ini dia. but that was not the recipe i followed. in fact, i followed non. you will see.
you need flour. don't ask me what kind of flour. just flour la.
you then need a microwavable mug actually. but i used this tupperware cause it is bigger. then i can eat more.
some milk
an egg
some sugar
some oil. notice how i use the word 'some' sparingly. that is because i did not follow the recipe at all. i put in amount i deem sufficient. actually, i pakai buang in only. you know the greatest thing about this recipe? it is so quickly done that if you screw up, wth, just make a new batch la. 3 minutes only what.
you mix the dry ingredients together: flour (according to recipe, 4 tablespoons), cocoa, or in my case the instant chocolate (about 2 tablespoons but really i think it is up to you. if you are some chocolate maniac, then put more la). and sugar (up to you also la, i don't really care cause i dislike sweet stuffs).
then you mix in an egg, some milk and oil. i did not measure the oil and milk. i did not read the recipe on the amount of those ingredients you should put in either. so i cincai put in some. er, you can mix then judge the consistency yourself, i guess.
mix until gooey
microwave under full power for 3 minutes
ok, more photos so the post looks more interesting.
this is some german bread i eat these few days. i like bread with a lot of chewable grains or oats or nuts whatever. this is really, i mean seriously, good for digestive system. lol
this puff snack thingy, is really nice
and last saturday, we went to stuggart to meet up with hung jen, see hua, joshua, and jong. with another malaysian exchange student whose name i could not remember. we bumped into chia ni and chor yaw the ALG seniors and then all of us had lunch together at some german restaurant. roy joined us very much later.
we headed to metzingen cause there was not much to do in stuttgart anyway.
metzingen has this area where all the factory outlets are collectively located. and you know how factory outlets sell cheaper branded goods. plus, they were having sales lagi.
i bought a RL tote for 40 euros which is a steal cause the original price was 140. and PK got himself a shirt and socks.
they have burberry, RL, timberland, esprit, tommy hilfiger, lacoste, hugo boss, escada, pepe jeans and lain lain. the place was packed which is normal i guess.
we went to stuttgart to have dinner in tao tao zhu. we went ordering dishes instead of paying for the buffet. i would not say the dishes were exceptionally delicious but i can say that the service was somewhat poor. anything la. i had fun meeting old friends anyway, so the awful dinner was compensated.
alright. i can take my nap now.
these days i always wake up around 7.30 to 8 in the morning. not that i like it. there is some construction in the block i am staying now to fix new heater system. and now the workers are in my room. they always say that they will come at 8 in the morning but never turned up until 10 a.m. which pisses me a bit cause i woke up early for nothing except today, they came 5 minutes shy from 8. PK has to go to work around 6.30 and his housemates are almost out to school or work most morning. so it is just me and some german workers. once kenny made clear to them that i do not speak german. so they know. yet they still talk to me in german. i replied in english of course. fantastically, most of the time, i understood them (the fella made some hand language too) so it is all good except for the timing of course. anyway, just to mention that they are here now and that i have to stay awake anyhow, might as well i blog.
king of pop, micheal jackson passed away yesterday and it was obvious in most part of the world, people are mourning right now to which i could totally understand. my earliest memory of him was this pepsi commercial he did in the 90's (i think it was his second really famous pepsi advert) whereby he sang 'Black or White'. i was so familiar with that song back then, i sang it day in day out, seriously. and when i was in my grandma's house, my cousin would attempt to do the moonwalk and had us all laughing. micheal jackson was part of everyone's life, at one time or another i guess. no, he was not my idol or what but in my childhood days, you know micheal and you are cool or you don't know micheal and you stay in caves. i would not say he is like the greatest singer of all but he is somewhat great. do rest in peace.
on a different note, it is funny how some people think that they know you inside out but the fact is, they never did in the first place.
zermatt travel log underway.
i was trying to upload berdozen pictures for my coming post. connection was slow, testing my patience.
then i checked the delivery status of my shoes. carded once again. meaning i have to call them to rearrange another delivery. damnit. i hate the delivery system. why cant they just send it to the village office? ma fan-ness. because i am in germany right now, i cannot call them with my mobile cause it costs blardy a lot. then i resorted to buying skype credit which is like super expensive sial too. who says it is cheap?! even if the person you are calling does not pick up, skype blardy charge me also, can! WTH.
damnit. and i am hungry now. hungry people do unimaginable stuffs. like getting frustrated at some travel agent's reply via email. bad grammar. unprofessional. and not to mention, grumpiness. *shrugs*
ok. i go eat now. lest i become angrier.
you ask me what is love.
this is love, i would answer.
he came home last evening, looking excited.
'i brought you something' then giggled a bit.
i wasn't expecting anything. more like i wasn't given time to expect.
but it was love. correct.
this is the usual me, minus the interest towards internet for today.
i wanted to cook early but i saw this creature, which looks like lipan (i forgot what is it called in english) but with longer legs, fatter, only shorter. and it freaked me out until i decided to postpone cooking until PK comes back. i wanted to shout the moment i saw it while sweeping the kitchen floor but i know i should not and cannot make a big fuss out of it because i am an adult. you read me? guess what i did?
i went into the room and came out with a bottle of shaving cream and a handphone. handphone for the torchlight function to check where that creature is and the shaving cream to halt its movement or stick that creature to the wall until my knight comes home to rescue me. i shone onto the floor looking for the creature, half wishing that it went away so that i wouldnt need to muster courage to spray on it. but it was there, wriggling, as if proud that it could make me shiver. without hesitation, i sprayed onto it a big plop of shaving cream (cause there isnt any insect spray or that sort) and thanks goodness the cream fell onto the right place, stopping that creature. from time to time, i went to check if it is still there. then i decided that the sesunguts (i forgot what is it called in english again, that tail like thingy on insect heads) look too scary sial, i sprayed more shaving cream to cover it. to which i should knock my head on the wall cause after that move, i couldnt tell if it was still stucked or made its way wriggling free already. how now?
i placed the chopped garlic aside then ran into the room. and closed the door. then PK called telling me he will be back late. how now? you tell me? then i ceritakan my distress to him, to which he smartly informed me he caught two similar creatures in his room before. how now?!
as i blog now, i frantically look down on the floor to check for signs of lipan's presence. die la.
darnit. i was supposed to blog about buddhism and incover camps then stuff like this have to happen. not pure already my thought, how to write you tell me? how now?
ok. have to sign off to further scrutinize the floor. bye.
oh i am dizzy after 2 full mugs of champagne PK got complimentary from his internship company. got another bottle under the table now. haha. great. free booze, we where got money buy champagne you tell me, we are poor students like that. haha. damnit, i am going wonky.
PK is on PSP now cos i ignored him pretty much for the last one hour, reading blogs.
i am back from zermatt, which is in switzerland and it is officially the most expensive trip ever and the most expensive place i have been to. it is also the most majestic place i have ever visited, ok la, maybe there are more majestic places but then i have never been to those so all hail zermatt yo. damn, i sound stupid.
will blog properly about zermatt (but i never blog prroperly) soon when i am more sober.
er, oh yes. i wanted to write about how open my dad is cause he allows us siblings to drink and that my mum is OK that we go to clubs and all. wah, my parents darn open la, please congratulate me. note: i am not sober so forgive this post. i always think that my dad allows us to drink because all girls should know how to drink so that they don't get tipu by the boys. or perhaps that is some stupid logic i made up to justify the reason my dad never stop me from drinking. my dad doesn't really drink by the way. why am i talking about my parents anyway.
oh yes. the graduation will be on the 29th this month. so do drop by if you have time. i think i still have one ticket left. must remind self to buy a pair of shoes for graduation. darn stupid i've shipped everything back to malaysia already so i don't have anything decent to wear to graduation. how stupid is that? i've mentioned this already, havent't i?
goodnight. i need to sleep the alcohol away.
i know wordy posts in a wordy post-laden blog are uncool.
but i am uncool.
so when uncool mets the uncool, you tick correct.
i am back in karlsruhe. so come visit me if you may :)
moved out of JBC. went to merempat in birbeck court for a coupla hours after shifting tonnes of stuffs out of the house. really. can our stuffs be any heavier? can there be more? damn. now my whole body is aching. top, bottom, left, right, everywhere. i shout in agony each time PK tries to hug me. damn. not to mention the blisters on my feet (yes! both! damnit) after shifting in PK's slippers cause mine were spoilt. ill fitted slippers are hazardous. but good that i am in pain. reality check cause the past few days had been a bit over the top.
and yea. did i mention that i passed my exam? so now i am a graduand. no longer a student. damn. pretty scary. preworking-preadulthood blues like prenatal fear. oooooh. but i shipped practically everything back to Malaysia so have to get new shoes, shirt, and maybe skirt for graduation. urgh. money, damnit.
oh, and the night i came back from glasgow, we had to spend some time in karlsruhe train station to wait for the tram back to PK's place. so we went to McD to grab a bite since got plenty of time. he lined up to get food so naturally i went to get us seats. the whole station, no, i think the whole europe is filled with blardy drunkards after 1 a.m. and the place was like shit, i tell you! there was this bald angmoh sitting nearby chatting with this black guy. he saw me and started shouting koniciwa then the unfathomable. damn stupid. then he said something that made me so furious i could have gone up to him and punch his arse face or his bald head. that S-O-B! damn! ashamed that he is human. ashamed that he is even alive! damnit! then i was so mad i erm, lashed it out on PK. OK. not totally my fault but i was being really irrrational with that state of mind. so mad, i think it was like the angriest moment in the past few years. crazy. never have i hated one person so much so that my temperature was up, i palpitated and the only thing i was thinking was the methods that S-O-B should die of. damn. i can go to hell now.
ok. chill. chilled. the more i talk, the more likely am i going to hell and it is not worth going to hell because of that fella. enough.
so... birbeck is small but cosy. i like small, cosy room but i need a huge room. small and socy so there isn't space for anything else that can scare me. like, you know. they occupy space too. but big room to organise my stuffs. i don't buy a lot but i have the tendency to keep stuffs instead of throwing so that explains the heavy load.
and everyone looked gorgeous during graduation ball. not that i went. but i saw many, i mean, really many pictures. haha. must be fun. oh well.
i am so looking forward to switzerland trip.
alrighty. i should try going back to sleep while the movie is playing. any good recommendations lately, people?
Mind is the fore-runner of all. Mind is chief. Mind made are they.
How true, how true.
i love this song.
tonight is my last night in James Blyth Court.
somehow, i feel nothing. maybe just a tinge of reluctance to leave my room.
but what shall come, shall come.
i paid for the transcript, which until now, i don't quite know what it actually is.
i paid for the robe hire.
then i realised i shipped everything wearable to graduation back home, in Malaysia.
i am shoeless, shirtless, and skirtless for the ceremony. i mean now.
on the other hand, i think i will miss the funny bank officer who tossed a coin to decide if he should go change the 100 pounds bill into fifties for me.
i asked for notes in hundred notation.
he then went to some store to bring me scottish pounds.
i wanted english pounds, i forgot to inform him.
i was too shy to insist i wanted the english pounds and he was shy too, to refuse me.
so he tossed a coin to decide if he should change them for me.
yes, he tossed a coin.
head, no change. tail, he will go and change.
coin showed tail.
so he went to the store to get me the english pounds.
then we both laughed at each other.
he told me not to come back.
and we laughed again.
i am trying to explain to myself, why the love hate relationship with routines.
there was much love this evening as was there much decibels.
i only want the former, not the latter. geddit?
i go sleep.
and thanks peeps. congrats to all. we've made it far.
i forgot that i will be alone in the room tonight. and for the coming three nights. dahlah the room damn empty now. damn. i takut.
result announcement tomorrow. i have no special feelings about it yet. better not have until last minute. imma sleep until noon tomorrow and then go out. then send stuffs over for packing. then decides what to do. *faints* i better be busy until 5pm.
i see that glasgow is hot now. great. i can't wait to be back actually. not that karlsruhe is such a bad place. but transportation can be quite expensive.
the girls are having plans for today and tomorrow. all for this fella who unashamedly announces her big day since like erm, forever. haha. joking la ah girl.
right, see, just to emphasize that germany ISN'T that boring (with a hint of sarcasm), below are some pictures of europa park. it is the largest theme park in germany and i must say, it blardy feels like disneyland inside. i don't know why but the rides are actually more thrilling albeit being pretty much the same. but europa park does have these two rides which is really famous - silver star and blue fire megacoaster. the park is huge and is divided into different sections, categorised as different countries. and the best things are the rides are not located far from each other, unlike disneyland, so once you hop out of one rides, you can line up for the next ride, like within one, two minutes. besides, the lines moved rather quick the day we were there. i remember waiting for this ride in disneyland for like 45 freaking minutes. but in this park, at most you wait like 10 to 15 minutes, for approximately equal amount of people lining up. the food are also not some rip offs like those in disneyland, but most likely because it isn't as famous as disneyland maybe. the downsides are of course not being very fairytale like macam disneyland, and heck they either speak french or german. at least the proud french in disneyland paris are smart enough to include english la. ish. plus, there weren't many foreigners in europa park. i hardly see any chinese around, so people were like wth, why got two chinese out of nowhere wan. haha. no, they weren't like staring at us or anything but were sort of shocked i think, when we converse in chinese.
maybe there really is a difference between 24 and 18 years old. cos when i was lining up for the first coaster ride, i was palpitating. so bad, i thought my heart would stop, the moment i sat on the seat and the strap were locked down. i really, really thought i couldn't take it anymore. when i was 18, i was all excited while queuing up and all i thought of back the, was how badly i wanted to conquer the ride. ended up, i was just freaking myself up. after the first ride, i was up and going again! yeeha!!! until i lined up for the megacoaster, WTH!! the latest addition to europa park, the ride starts off with accelerating from 0 to 100kph in 2.5 seconds. damn scary wei. just bby looking at the set up scares me. and the shouting of the riders. damn scary sial. i don't know what went into our heads when we decided to line up for megacoaster. but trust me, it is one heck of a thrilling ride! freaking syok sial.
we came back, all worn out and were deep in slumber early at night. good thing we did not have any nightmares. haha, you know the chinese sayings 'too excited, at night can get nightmares or get greenish shit'. LOL. we had neither. woke up the next day and was gatal cos i was supposed to go back to glagsow on that day but decided to burn the ticket and go back 3 days later cos there is no viva session for me and PK had holiday as well. cannot let it go to waste. then we got so random and decided to visit heidelberg and off we went to heidelberg. by the time we decided to leave heidelberg for karlsruhe, we randomly decided to go to stuttgart for dinner, when i thought of cooking that night. it was a heck of a day trip. cos we were not prepared, did no research of places we want to visit and the day turned out pretty fine, i must say :)
cant upload any photos here cos blogger decides to be a pain. blah.
oh, you girls have fun tonight and tomorrow yo!!
P/S: i dont run any charity centre or stuffs like tha. i am incapable of doing so. silly. and whatever this is, i am posting to avoid feeling guilty that i do nothing about it after reading it.
if anyone can or wants to help:
Basically I am looking for help in any form, financially and also in kind. Also help to make the need know to all in the net, may be someone has a spare corner house to let for free, and who know we have so many kind heart soul in Malaysia. We do!!
Why am I here asking for help? I have no way to go and seeking the help from whoever I can get my hand on to. We need the following: -
1. Premises - prefer a corner lot house with some garden area where we can setup sand and water therapy area.
2. Musical - Since autistic kids are very artistic and musically inclined, I want to setup some music class to explore their potential. Any good working Piano or electronic piano are needed. Can Yamaha donate some? Anyone who know someone in Yamaha?
3. Art - Art supply for painting and others
4. Renovation - Can some good soul help to pay for the renovation and furnishing of the center?
5. Telecommunication - Telephone, Fax and Internet access
6. Funding - We need at least one year of funding before we can be self funded. I will work out the requirement one more people come into play and willing to help
7. Teaching material - I have plenty in my house because both my sons are autistic.
Anyone can help me to published all the above? I have 2 weeks to put thing together before they closed it down. 20 kids will be affected if the center is closed down with giving them an alternative to go.
I have post the SOS on My Blog, I am very determine to keep the center going and I hope can get some help. I am willing to go in the media, TV and radio to highlight the need.
Regards
Yong Yek Ming (Father of 2 autistic boys)
Blogger (http://shiokguy.blogspot.com/ and http://myautismresource.
pot.com/)
The center was ran by some MCA guy and I belief he is running out of fund. He already make a decision to stop the service center, what I am doing is to take over from him.
I don't think he like to make his name known and I am not going to use back the same name for the center. It will be a new center who take in the 20 kids and will look into taking more autism kids in the future.
We would like the new center to be around Seri Petaling, OUG, PJ or Subang area. The new center will be managed and run by myself and the teacher (Mr Liew)
